What we’ve experienced so far….
Feel free to skip this page if you don’t like good stories. * Just kidding. Don’t leave *
September 2011
The summer of 2011 was a doozy. It had a record breaking heat wave with no rain and over two months straight of 100 degree days. On September 16, it rained for the first time since June. On our wedding day. But it didn’t matter to us. It was a beautiful day with our friends and family. Ashley’s dad performed the ceremony, her mom beat breast cancer to be there, Brent’s mom and dad both overcame sickness to be there, and our wedding party was filled with lifelong friends and family excited to celebrate the day with us.
Ashley had waited a long time to find her soulmate and Brent had overcome the loss of his first marriage to finally find his. That day we thanked God for bringing us together and made a promise to each other and to Him that we would love each other for the rest of our lives. We celebrated 10 years of marriage in 2021 and plan on celebrating a lifetime of many more together.
Brent & Ashley
May 2019
At a young age, I (Ashley) dreamed of getting married and having children in my twenties. It’s funny how plans change. I didn’t end up getting married until I was 31, so career became my focus for many years. And after marriage, I decided I wanted to wait to have children so that I could enjoy being married for a few years.
When we really decided to start trying to have a baby, it didn’t go as planned. After a few years, and regular disappointments, we decided to see a fertility specialist, and get to the bottom of things. The specialist in Dallas we saw was a gentle man, but lacked the forthrightness we were looking for. When he said, “Let’s get you pregnant.” we had such high hopes, but not a true sense of what was really going on below the surface. Turned out, getting us pregnant would be much more complicated than a simple procedure and a wave of kind doctor hands. Much more complicated.
They discovered a variety of issues, which led to appointments with a surgeon, which led to surgery to correct those, which led to waking up without my Fallopian tubes. Yeah, it was a really hard season. That led to a difficult recovery (emotionally and physically). The reality that we could not get pregnant on our own was hard enough, but then we were told that even IUI or IVF was going to be super hard on my body, and there were no guarantees I could see a baby to term. We just didn’t know what to do next.
So, we prayed and waited.
September 2020
Once infertility was determined, all that comes with that became our reality. I (Ashley) knew in my heart that God had called me to be a mom, I just didn’t know how that was going to happen. The topic of adoption began popping up everywhere I turned. No matter where I went, someone I knew had either adopted, was about to enter into adoption, or had even been adopted themselves. I remember being at my grandmother’s funeral in 2019 and holding my cousin’s foster daughter as she sweetly fell asleep in my arms. I remember my heart strings started to tug and I looked across the table at Brent and said “I think I’m ready to do this.” He agreed and we began praying about what that would look like for our family.
September 2019 — March 2020
In September of 2019, some sweet friends let stay us at their cabin in Red River, NM. While there, we had several long discussions and desperate prayers about what to do. We had struggled with the idea of adoption, only because it felt like we were giving up on the idea of getting pregnant and having “our own child.”
But by the end of that experience, we were in harmony about being open to the idea of adoption if that was God’s desire for us. We weren’t sure how to proceed and even wrestled for a while about proceeding with adoption. Then…
In March 2020, a pandemic hit and everything seemed to go black on the adoption front as we both navigated work, church, and life — just like everyone else.
December 2020
The Dream Date.
Each year around New Years, we like to go on a date, unpack the previous year, and dream about the coming year. That Dream Date was so very special, because we simultaneously heard God green light adoption for us. As unfamiliar and uncertain as that idea had seemed to us, we both agreed, it was what God wanted for us.
The signs were obvious, the gift of a family was eminent, and the pathway was clear for us to step out in faith and pursue a newborn being given up for domestic adoption.
So we prayed, voiced our desires, and began to research consultants/agencies, and asked adopting friends how we should proceed.
April 2021
That April, our friends allowed us to go back to their cabin in Red River. Adoption was still looming, but we had not really talked (or even prayed) much about it in 2020, and the sudden push toward adoption at the beginning of 2021 felt more like a heavy weight on us than it did a freeing joy. Consulting fees, agency fees, building an adoptive-parent profile book, website, and fundraising tools, getting the house ready, etc. took a bit of a toll. But we were energized and it was definitely what we desired, and so on the last day of our trip to Red River that spring, we officially applied with Christian Adoption Consultants!
We met Kelly, our consultant, and Holly our home study advisor, and we were off!
September 2021 — January 2022
We were rocking along with our home study throughout that summer. Ashley had a routine doctors appointment that month, and her doctor asked her if she would consider surrogacy.
Scrreeech!
Wait. What?
The doctor told Ashley she had another patient who had delivered for another couple, and she could connect us if we wanted. So for the next four months, THAT became our new, favorite, maybe real, maybe BEST option. It threw us into a bit of a tailspin. We previously thought adoption was so clear. We believed that was what God wanted for us. We had heard stories and even prayed for a miracle. Maybe surrogacy was ours. We weren’t quite sure how to proceed, but we had to inquire. We dreamed that having a baby with OUR DNA was surely what we wanted.
And then in January of 2022, the scent on the surrogate trail grew faint. And then very distant. And then… gone.
It wasn’t to be. Not then. Not her. And then a new form of grief set in.
June 2022
The grief that kicked in January ‘22 was a doozy. It was dull some days and sharp others, but it was real. In the meantime other significant things were happening. We desperately needed a remodel on our 55 year old kitchen. Work, church, and life in general presented some challenges. What we even wanted for our lives was up in the air. Our 14 month contract with Christian Adoption Consultants was expiring in June. We’d taken such a hit on the failed surrogacy and questioned ourselves and God’s will for us so much that we found ourselves floating in a sea of uncertainty.
What did we want? What did God want? And on June 24, 2022 something monumental happened.
Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court of the United States. Like many people, we were thrilled and emotional at first, and then a “What does that mean to our story?” washed over us. Our hearts were struck with a new urgency and determination. We needed to be available. We have to be prepared. THIS is our moment. So we renewed our contract, and went back to work on the adoption journey. NOW… we are READY!
August 2022
We have been blown away by the love we have been shown! So many very sweet and generous family and friends.
We are preparing today (8/18/22) to submit applications to agencies. We get our profiles (think magazine) that go in birthmother’s hands this week. Then we will consult with a few attorneys, make our wishes known (what kind of child would we like to adopt?), and then we’ll really be moving. It is so close we can taste it!
September 2022
We matched!
Yep. So THAT was a God thing. This is a private adoption. We never even sent an application to agency. Through a mutual relationship, we were approached by a woman who is expecting. She desires a loving, Christian home for her baby she cannot keep. There is a heartbreaking and incredible story building here. We are curious and anxious. Is this real?
Today we are ecstatic, and will travel to meet the birthmother soon. More to come…
October 2022
Little boy due February 2023!
We are so humbled. Praying. Preparing. Anticipating.
Sidenote: We are also praying about and talking to a church about Brent becoming the Lead Pastor. So much change. So exciting. SO mind-blowing!
February 2023
He’s coming!
We just got the call. He’s coming a little early. And we are leaving for South Carolina to get him. Surreal. We could not be more excited and thankful that God chose us.
Update: He came.
And went immediately home to Jesus.
That sweet little boy ran into the arms of Jesus five hours after he was born. We are crushed.
It’s a long hard story. Soon.
July 2023
It’s been a minute.
New stages of very different and very real grief swarmed us this winter/spring. But we are in go mode. In a variety of remarkable ways. There is a lot to unpack here. So, here goes:
Profit & Loss
The balance sheet of our lives the last 12 months reads like a Hallmark movie. We experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Last summer, I (Brent) was preparing to transition to a new Asoc. Pastor role at a church in the Metroplex. The church 1) appeared to be positioned to grow and reach people for Jesus, 2) is led by a pastor who seemed to be hungry to reach people for Jesus, and 3) was 10 minutes from our house so didn’t require selling the home we had remodeled and loved! Well, when we shared our adoption journey here, and invited friends and family to pray about and help us financially make adoption a reality, that pastor voiced opposition to us receiving money to adopt. He asked me, “can’t you do private adoptions for about $800.” Most are obviously unaware of adoption process and costs. We were before we explored the option. He also believed a “pastor shouldn’t use his position to take advantage of people’s generosity.” WHAT? That IS a true statement and NOT remotely what we were doing. It was the red flag (after several orange flags), and a clear word from God that it was not a good fit for us. So I declined the offer, and we had no idea what was next.
A month later we had partners to help us make the dream a reality, and we got (ironically) the phone call about the private adoption. Two months later, I got a call from The River in Panhandle — a non-denominational church near Amarillo. They had received my name from a consultant, and asked for an interview. I confirmed and we began the process of praying about and exploring The River. After several conversations and a visit we accepted the call to The River. I commuted for several weeks (including a 5 hour drive to The River for a candlelight service and 5 hour drive back all on Christmas Eve!), and as we waited for that little boy to be born, we sold our home in Hurst. In January of 2023, we moved to Panhandle.
The baby was due February 9, but on Feb 2, we got a call that he was coming! We packed up the car, dropped off the dogs at Gigi and Pops’ in Ft Worth, and made the drive to South Carolina to get him. We arrived at 3am very excited and anxious and tired. Early the next morning I (Ashley) was called to the delivery suite and helped the birthmother push for 4 hours. There were some tense moments in the delivery and finally he came — but wasn’t breathing on his own. They rushed him to NICU…and all we could do was wait.
Five hours later we got the call that he was not going to make it. Devastated. There are more details we cannot share, but know that we left that hospital and city wrecked by the series of adoption related events. We felt alone, but fully known. We felt searing loss, but also felt deeply loved.
Two weeks later Brent’s mom passed away after a 14 year battle with cancer.
Three weeks later, Ashley’s dad had a serious stroke.
It awoke a grief neither of us had never known. But it could not compare to the love and support we felt from The Father, friends, and family.
That was hard.
We know the baby God places in our arms will be worth every single bit of the hard. So here we are. Trying again, which almost wasn’t an option. BUT God…
We are on the list. We have applied to multiple agencies, and now we wait. Please pray for favor, God’s perfect assignment, our chance to raise a child to love Jesus, and our courage to wait on the Lord. More to come…
January 2025
Hi. We are Brent and Ashley.
It’s been a year and a half since we posted, so felt like we should reintroduce ourselves. There is so much to tell.
Agency adoption never opened a door. I (Brent) was probably too old for birthfamilies to choose. Only God knows why.
We grieved. And paused. And wondered. And waited.
In the Spring of 2024, we had all but decided, this was our life. Just us and dogs. And travel. And freedoms people with children didn’t have. But it didn’t feel complete. I was pastoring, and I had poured my time and energy into that. Ashley was still managing a team of Pure Barre managers and teachers in DFW, so she poured her time and energy into that as well as helping so much with ministries at the church. But there was still a void.
So we prayed. We listened. And researched fostering.
Foster to adopt? We weren’t here to foster. We were here to adopt. One last push…We’ll give it one last push. So in September…
We applied to foster. We watched countless videos. We satisfied our requirements. And by January we were approved. Eight times the fist few weeks we were approached about foster opportunities. None of them felt right — meaning, they were foster needs, but didn’t appear to be leading to adoption. That is why we were here — to adopt.
Then…
On January 27, a little girl was born in Amarillo.
February 2025
She was addicted to methamphetamine and had syphilis. She had beed removed from her birthmother and was released from NICU on February 7. We got the call that day, asked all our questions, and we were encouraged that she was an ideal candidate for foster to adopt. So we said YES!
She came to us that evening, and our lives were changed instantly — in so many ways.
There are no words to adequately describe the joy we experienced. Ashley was a mommy. I was a daddy. After many years of trying so many ways to have a baby in our arms we could call “ours”, we had finally seen a breakthrough and God’s provision. We immediately loved her unconditionally. All the tears, the giggles, the smiles, the dirty diapers, the wondering eyes, the naps, the screams, and even the withdrawal symptoms brought a new “life” into our home. And it was more than we had ever imagined.
Those first three weeks were so much fun and exhausting all at the same time.
Then…
On February 27 (one month after the little girl was born), a little boy was born in Pampa. Yep… You know where this is going.
March 2025
March 3, he came home.